There are many situations that provoke worry in our lives, both for ourselves and others. Issues of health, job stability, parenting, finances, and politics are just a few of the areas in which we place our hopes and can get stuck in fear for the future. In our worry, fear can flourish. 

But the fact that we have worrying thoughts and emotions is not in itself a bad thing. Humans worry–it is natural. The problem comes in when worrying about the things we fear gets a hold of us and dread (anticipating the worst) becomes a constant feature of our days and nights. When this happens, it saps us of energy, logic, sleep, and a sense of wellbeing. 

So, how can we keep the dread at bay? Consider developing the habit of reminding ourselves that:

• We cannot control thoughts and emotions that arise in our minds, like worry.  
• Worrying thoughts and emotions can come and go in our minds in reaction to life’s hardships and even joys. Worry is a fleeting rather than permanent state of mind.
• Worry can have value, as a signal that we care about something and want the best to occur, but see challenges to attaining the desired outcomes.
• We have a choice about what we do with worry when it “cold calls” us. We can tap into help from ourselves and others to tame our worry. 

Taming the Worry

When we tame our worry, we try to face each specific worry head on for a few moments, acknowledge it, accept it, figure out what is at its core, and then self-soothe while riding its wave out. Taming our worry allows us to find that stable place within each of us where we can be “alright” and access peace, even in the face of suffering and fearful anticipation of the worst.   

Mindfulness Skills

Mindfulness skills are helpful in taming worry. Many of these skills are simple—the trick is being patient when building a mindfulness practice. We need the time and space to experiment with different mindfulness techniques and then practice techniques with enough frequency that they become routine. (Remember that, on average, it takes 3 weeks for an action to become a habit.) 

Here are examples of how we might utilize mindfulness to deal with worry. Say we feel the start of tiny bubbles of worry gurgling in our minds:

• We can PAUSE and FOCUS ON OUR BREATH. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat. Give ourselves over to it for a minute or so.
• Instead of avoiding the feeling, we can USE MEDIATIVE TECHNIQUES such as RAIN to tune into, accept and understand what is going on in our bodies and minds.
• We can USE AFFIRMATIONS and CALMING PHRASES in response to rising difficult emotions. 
• If there is time, we might TAKE A WALK OR DO SOME OTHER MINDFUL MOVEMENT (yoga, dance, etc.). 
• WE might take in nature and its wonders. 
• We MIGHT LISTEN TO CALMING MUSIC OR A MEDITATION to help refocus.
• If we find ourselves reacting to the worry despite our efforts, rather than just riding it out, we can TRY TO BE COMPASSIONATE RATHER THAN CRITICAL OF OURSELVES. 
• We might use META MEDIATION or other CONTEMPLATION forms, like PRAYER, to solidify our hope in going forth in dealing with worry.
• We might seek out opportunities to LAUGH—hanging out with a funny person in our lives, listening to a comedian or even just quickly visiting social media sites that make us giggle—as a respite from the worry.   

If you want help working through the process of exploring your worry, its origin and your reactions to it, as well as identifying and learning to practice techniques that will aid you in lessening the grip that it has on you, please reach out to the Mindful Counseling Center.  Our therapists are experienced in helping people with their worry and anxiety. They would be honored to assist you.

Article by Kristin Littel. Adapted from an earlier Mindful Counseling Center blog.